The Coroner Gets Wicked?
I have been given the unique opportunity to volunteer 5 days a week at the Coroner's office. No, I will not be bringing my camera.
I have no idea what I'll be doing. I have no idea what I'll see, touch, or smell. I really have no idea if I could even handle it.
I've seen and touched dead bodies in caskets but that seems like a far cry from seeing death in all it's horrible glory. I wonder if I will be completely fascinated by everything around me, such as I am with surgery, or if it will bother me. Bother me… Hard to believe something could bother me. Confession time…
I have a love / hate relationship with people's insides. In a controlled environment, such as the O.R., I can't get enough. In the real world though, where horrible accidents happen, it nauseates me. I get faint when I see people hurt, in pain and/or suffering. I would make a horrible EMT. In fact, not too long ago I tried to hit a vein in my arm and draw up a little blood. As soon as my blood started to flow into the syringe I became extremely light headed and nearly passed out. Never expected that.
Death on the other hand has never affected me in any way physically or emotionally. I guess I've never thought of it as a bad thing or the end. Never really thought about it more than what a welcome, much needed, rest it will be when my time comes. Maybe that's why I question volunteering. I've never really thought about it and this would force me to think about it and I'm afraid of what I may think. Or I'm just over-thinking everything as usual and it will be a fascinating experience.
What do you think? Ever work / volunteer for the Coroner? What was your experience?
I'm leaning heavily toward yes, do it. Should I?
If nothing else it will give me something interesting to write about in my DA journal.
Into the Unknown
Taking that first step was a bitch and a half but I actually did it. Twice! I didn't die, my eyes didn't bleed, I didn't tell everyone to fuck off, it was acceptable. Went out with a couple girls I know (no boobies) and just shot some shit for them. I was surprisingly pleased with how they turned out. I think I smiled. More of a grin. Will I ever post them? I am thinking about it. Figured I should go prance down the street and capture some pretty flowers first. Make the transition to Wicked-Namby-Pamby complete.
Figured I should warn you should you stop by, the lights are on and there is a sweet smell in the air. Don't freak, you are in the right place. I may venture out into the unknown but I will never change. I am wicked. I will always be wicked. The grin on my face may not show it but I've got a mischievous little devil on each shoulder.
Back in the day I wanted to see what that angel on my shoulder looked like on the inside. But that's an entirely different story…